Silent Martyr

_{I'm tired of all this.
I can't keep doing this.
I can't just keep sitting here and listen to ignorant children talk about me.
I can't handle the constant ridicule of my classmates.
I've stayed strong for so long, acted like I don't care.
But I just can't do it anymore.
It's tearing me down and sometimes it feels like I'll never get back up off the ground.
There's a numbness growing in the back of my skull that I can feel covering me.
A numb that blocks out most of the pain,
but what it doesn't block turns into an itch
an itch that I scratch and scratch but that never seems to go away
An itch that you claw at until it bleeds
even then it never goes away.
I'm tired of crying about little things
tired of feeling so damn worthless
I'm growing tired of life here,
Tired of dealing with these things.
I'm just tired of being tired
Sometimes I feel like I should just end it
Like I'm not worth the effort.
But I don't
Because I know at least one person needs me
So they can learn how to be better
So they'll get better.
So until then I must drag my weary bones along these empty boulevards
A silent martyr to my cause.}