2 Months, 1 Letter

Dear__________,


I know you probably don't care..but here it is. I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately. I don't mean to seem so cold and stuff. Y'know? I'm just..confused is all. I know that when I said what I did two months ago it was harsh and rather cruel that I thought I meant it at the time. But I realize now that I was wrong. I just wanted to apologize for it all. All of it, everything. I never wanted to hurt you, you know (or atleast I hope you do) that it was never my goal. Do you want to know the real reason for what I did? I felt trapped. After they put me under, and after I told you about all the things that happened with the people I was around, it felt like you were trying to protect me. Like you were trying to shield me from all the troubles of the world, as though you were trying to shelter me. And by doing that, it made me feel like even more of a victim. Like you were enclosing me in a steel cage. When you got more possessive, more careful around me, it made me feel even more trapped. Like I couldn't do anything without being watched with a huge eye in the sky.

I know that I probably should have told you most of this, but there it is. I know that I made up so many different fake reasons as to why I did it, as to why I was so upset and everything. But there it is, straight as an arrow. I know you were upset. You claimed I was in love with the boy I'll refer to as "Scott Pilgrim", but I never was. It's true. I write about my life, I scratch out the truth in my descriptions, and I tell stories with my words. But sometimes what I write can be taken in the wrong way. It wasn't Scott that I wrote about, but my highlander friend. You know he's not, and never was, a threat to you. He's gay. I know that you aren't happy about what you know about what I've done since I've been gone. But I wasn't exactly happy what you did in the couple of weeks after I left, either. An eye for an eye, eh? Then again, that would make me blind, would it not?

I don't know. I must digress. I can't keep this up forever, and I doubt you'll read this anyway. But if you do, however, I want you to text me or call me. You know when I have rehearsals, you know when I have school. If I don't answer, leave a voicemail. You know I'll always get back to you as soon as possible. Remember what we wrote? It seems like a lifetime ago, but here it is. "Forever and ever? Sounds like a lifetime and a half, but with you ever second is bliss." I bet you thought I forgot about that. But I didn't. I never wanted you to be just another slot in my scrapbook. After all, didn't we agree to be friends? I guess you just don't have time for me anymore, and I understand that. But I must end this blip here and now. But before I go? Cut your hair and shave. You won't look like as much of a "faun" then. You know what I'm talking about.

Best wishes, sweet dreams, and cosmic goodwill-

.-*Pepper